Diablo 3

Diablo 3 came out two weeks ago.  The highly anticipated threequel to the MMORPG series has been a long time coming for a lot of gamers.  It has been 12 years since the original Diablo 2 was released (11 years since the Lord of Destruction expansion pack) and this has lead to a massive amount of hype surrounding this game.

Needless to say, I was one of those nerds that was too eager to pay attention in class two Monday nights ago.

I went to the midnight release a little bit later than I intended to, and after arriving at around 12:15-12:20, it was obvious that I'd be in line a long time. There were hundreds of people around waiting to get their hands on this thing, so to avoid the masses, I went grocery shopping instead.

After finishing up at Loblaw's, I headed back to EB where there was no one left in line.  I walked in, got my game, and walked out.  This was around 12:45.  It worked out perfectly.  So, after zipping home, grabbing a snack and installing the game, I was ready to embark on a deep gaming session.  Only to realize that Blizzard is the most evil group of brigands to walk this earth.

NO OFFLINE PLAY.

Awesome, Blizzard.  Make us east coasters wait until 3AM (midnight on the west coast) to play this game, brilliant!  This isn't even taking into consideration that when they shut their servers down in however many years down the road, I will be unable to load up this game and give it a run for nostalgia's sake because they have chosen to make it available exclusively online. Fuck. Anyways...

So, after making an entire meal, eating it, reading for an hour, playing xbox for 30 minutes, and surfing the internet throughout, it was time.

That was when BattleNet started having a conniption, not letting basically anyone get on.  Their servers were unable to handle the massive amount of people who had been waiting all night to play this God forsaken game.  Way to go Blizzard! Hype the shit out of a game that you know countless people are going to buy and want to play, but don't upgrade your servers to handle that much traffic on it at one time!

Heavens to Betsy!

So around 4:20AM (No, I didn't smoke weed) I finally got on, and played a little bit.  The game felt nothing like a Diablo game.  It has been streamlined for the mass appeal it knew it would have.  It looks like a very, very generic game.  Diablo & Diablo 2 had a very gothic, sinister, evil feel to them.  This was obvious from first glance at the games.  The font, the music, the lighting, the design, the game art, etc. was all very frightening and foreboding.  It goes without saying this game has been made to attract gamers new to the Diablo series, which I understand.  Blizzard knew that they were going to be getting A LOT of hype surrounding this project, starting from the large group of die-hard fans they already had.  Why not make it prettier and more basic/simple for the new crowd? They will get attached faster/easier this way.  It was a financial decision no doubt, and it has left a sour taste in my mouth.

Game presentation aside, the gameplay is what you would mostly expect out of a Blizzard/Diablo game. Click endlessly to kill demons and collect loot.  BUT, they made a change to the character creation/evolution.  In the olden days of Diablo gaming, you would choose a type of hero; Paladin, Barbarian, Sorceress, Amazon, Necromancer, Assassin, or Druid (D2).  You would then get skill points every time you level'd up in the game.  You could choose 1 of 3 builds to make a character, for example, Sorcs could have ice, fire, or lightning skills.  Of course, you could choose some of any of the 3, but it was more beneficial for you to pick one field and stick with it, as they would stack on top of each other.  I.E. one ice skill being level'd boosts another ice skill.

The aforementioned skill trees of a Sorceress in Diablo 2
(Ice, Lightning, Fire)

Diablo 3 did none of these things.  The draw in D2 was that you could start a whole new character, start fresh, try something new (never done a summoning necromancer? give'r a shot!), etc.  Now in D3, you don't have any of these options.  You get all skills on every play thru.  You can go back and change which skills you want to use throughout the game.  In D2, if you chose ____ (whatever lightning skill, I forget the names, lets say "Lightning Strike") .... so, if you chose Lightning Strike, you had it for the whole game.  You could of course upgrade it eventually as you unlocked the ability to use new ones later in the game, like "Lightning Drop" would be the next step in your progress, and once you hit level 18 and put a skill point into it, you could use it.  It made the game more rewarding if you made a good build.

Now in D3 you just choose any skill at anytime.  No leveling required.  No skill points.  Once you reach the level necessary to use it, its yours.  Now no offense to the children, but that is kiddy shit.  No penalty or learning curve for this set-up.  Just play thru the game.  Having difficulty with a boss? "Oh, okay, let me just quickly change this skill here... mhm, okay... yep........ Ok.  Lets try this.  YEEEEE I TWO SHOTTED UR ASS BELIAL!!"  It just seems so simple.

This was done the same reason as the art, to maximize the sale of the game.  Kids as young as 7 and 8 could easily figure this shit out, as I did with the earlier Diablo games through trial and error and having to actually strategize before and during gameplay.  This game has been made for anyone to pick it up and be instantly successful with it, its easy.

Now the Auction House is an entirely different beast that I don't even really want to touch on.  After making this game already so easy, they've added the Auction House, a place to either put your gear that you find up for sale, or be the one doing the buying.  Although gold is bit fewer and further between in D3, it adds up quickly and it isn't hard to be able to afford some pretty damn good gear via the Auction House.  An add-on that makes an already simplistic game even more of a breeze.  Once again, and although it hasn't been set-up just yet, this part of the game was done to maximize profits.  It has the allure of making you be able to make REAL, LIVE MOENYZZ!!  I shudder to think of what the conversion rate of gold from the game to real life money is.  Every million gold is 10 cents? I don't really know, but I do know that this feature will bring in a lot more people.

Why play when you can just buy your way through the game via the Auction House?

The final problem has been the servers.  They have been spastic and unreliable, kicking me off every other time I play for the two weeks that the game has been out.  It has just been the icing on the Brazilian fart cake.  This will eventually be solved though, as the weeks and months go by and less people are rushing to play it, as well as Blizzard actually getting their shit together.

And I get it.  Really, I do.  You're running a business.  You already have a fan base who will buy this game no matter what.  You want to reach outside of your target audience or the usual suspects.  These are some good moves they made in that regard.  For myself, though... they've let me down.  Haha, no big surprise if you've even bothered to wade through this butthurt diatribe, but this game is a huge bust.  Its for kids.  Diablo has always been a mature game, and now this is what I get.  This game is brutal.  There is no replay value.  Play each character once, and you're done.  You will have all of the skills, and you can buy all of the best gear via Auction House.  I have played for maybe 10-15 hours, and do not feel inclined to play it anymore.  Its too easy.  There is no rewarding feeling waiting for me after beating the game on its hardest difficulty, because I will have been able to do it thru having any skill or piece of gear I want or need.  No grinding, no need for looting, etc.  Its a serious let down for me.

Sure, the game has its good points.  The cinematics are beautiful.  The story is not bad.  It has some memorable landscapes and moments.  But this is all hidden under the tall, dark shadows of its shortcomings.  I hope they patch this game HARD in the coming months and years, as well as really drop some good expansion packs, (will wait to see how they are before spending anymore $$$ on Blizzard's shit) because this is NOT what any loyal gamer deserves.

Sorry for the negativity, but all of my friends have been sucking D3's cock so hard, like SO hard, sucking his demonic balls, deepthroating his veiny gargantuan shaft, maintaining eye contact, and taking his devilish load all over their blinded eye'd faces, and I needed to vent.

I'm really looking for feedback on this.  I need you guys to hit me back on here, because I really want to know what you like about D3, if you do.  I WANT to like this game, I waited a decade+ for it, for Christ's sake.  If you disagree with me, let me know.  Leave your $0.02 in the comment section and let me know what a dumb stupid head I am.


EDIT:
This is NOT me,